Oh, you’re not married yet? Oh, you are still single is it? What are you waiting for? Do you want to marry at all? Being single can get really testing with time especially if we’re waiting on the Lord to lead us to the one. Well the Bible goes on to say what we’ve been hearing for a long time now…
“ Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.” Psalm 27:14
“ but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:31
It’s really a tough thing to trust God and wait patiently (Psalm 37:7) in your season of singleness. While all your friends are seemingly getting hitched and the Church is constantly rotating around the topic of marriage and families every now and then, it becomes challenging to be a single in such an environment especially if you’ve been waiting for quite some time by now. It is even more testing with increasing age as you are more physically and emotionally inclined towards marriage. On a side note, this urge to get married can help you decipher whether God has called you to be single or married for your life. This urge is a desire from within and not from seeing others getting married, thinking that it’s a norm. To some, God has called them to be single. But to others, the Bible says; “ for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” 1 Corinthians 7:9.
So this post is for those who are single and waiting on the Lord for their marriage. It takes a lot to trust God’s timing but nevertheless, trust it. I’m going through this phase as well and it’s been quite challenging but I encourage you to continue to have faith in God, keep your focus on Him and He will definitely lead you to the man/woman who is your perfect match. While I can’t give you first hand testimony about that as I’m still single and waiting but many people around us who have waited on the Lord, we see that He has not failed them.
Today I want to share what it means/what are the attributes of a person who is single and waiting on the Lord.
1. Purity first
We can’t expect God to come through on His part of fulfilling the promise when we ourselves are not trying to obey the basics of what His Word commands us to be as Singles. We as God’s children are first called to be holy, just as He is holy. But also, think of it this way, you don’t want to have a spouse who has been lusting/committing sexual sin right? Likewise with your spouse wanting you to be keeping yourself pure for marriage.
“ Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.” 2 Timothy 2:22
“ God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin.” 1 Thessalonians 4:3 NLT
2. Relationship status : In a serious relationship with God
Being single has major major MAJOR advantage. You’ve got all the time for yourself. Undivided and whole. Choose to spend some quality time with God. Get to know Him. Read the Word of God, pray and talk to Him. I mean, get into a serious relationship with God y’all!
There is a formula for having a happy marriage no matter what the circumstances in life after marriage would be. If you want to have a happy marriage, God will teach you that. Get to know Him and His Word. For me as a woman, getting to know God, spending time with Him and reading His Word has slowly transformed me to desiring marriage for the right reasons and made me a woman from a manly-woman in short. (All the girlies would get what I’m saying :P). For a Man, getting to know God is the key to playing His role in the family.
More on this later in a separate post. 🙂
3. Seek God’s will
Each time you come across a potential partner, you can’t just jump in using the five senses you’ve got to be completely sure that he’s the one/she’s the one for you.
“ Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6
This goes hand in hand with the previous point. Every detail of your life from birth to death, God knows it all. Why not seek Him who completely knows who your spouse is going to be? He knows who your perfect match is. Pray and seek God’s will before asking to court her/saying yes to courting and even during courtship because it is easy for us as mere humans to be led away by our personal interests to not-our-perfect-match partner during times like these.
4. Courting ≠ Married
It is important to draw a line between courting and marriage. Courting is you spending time and getting to know the person all in the light of wanting to know from God whether this man/woman is the one for you according to God’s will. You aren’t marriage so all the rules of being single apply when your courting. Keep yourself pure, do not indulge in any intimate talk, refrain from touching each other cause of all these can arouse unwanted fluctuations of hormones. Why though? Because you are still trying to know God’s will whether he or she is the one for you, and by indulging yourself too much like this, can overpower your discerning of God’s will. Your heart would say ‘Go for it, it’s the one’ but God would be saying something completely opposite. Keep the channel open to hearing God’s voice every path of the way. I would suggest to keeping it this way up until the day of marriage, cause it would keep you from unnecessarily entering into any sexual sin before marriage. This is one of the reasons why you see many Christian girls and guys wanting to even save their first kiss for until they are married. (a big thumbs up 👍🏻 to those of you who are saving it for their marriage! 🙂 )
5. Finally, prepare yourself while you are waiting
Transformation to a role doesn’t happen overnight. It happens one day at a time.
If you are a woman, prepare yourself to be a wife. Learn what the Word of God says about being a wife. (Ephesians 5:22-33 could be a good place to start, followed by Proverbs 31:10-31). Put to practise those qualities. Equip yourself with the house work. Learn to cook (even if your future husband is an expert chef 🙂 ).
If you are a man, prepare yourself to be a husband. Learn what the Word of God has to say about husband’s role in the family. (Here too, Ephesians 5:22-33 could be a good place to start). Be prepared for your personal time in your daily activities to be cut short. Train your mind for a family life.
Basically get yourself acquainted of what you will be expected from your each your roles, I mean you wouldn’t want your spouse to be lacking the basics/family interests right?
Lastly, I would like to add that you are born for a unique purpose in God. He has a plan for your life, a calling for your life. Your partner in life, your spouse’s purpose/calling must be complementary to your’s and your purpose/calling to your spouse’s in order for both of you to fulfill your individual purposes in God achieving it together for each other. Only God can lead you to meet that person in life. Therefore, following the above things while you are single and waiting is important in and each and everyone of our lives who are waiting on the Lord. Rest assured there are many still waiting for Lord’s appointed time. Keep at it!
I pray that Our Lord will give you the ability to wait on the Lord, and even as you wait, I pray that He would grant you the ability to stay pure during this phase. I pray that you will seek His will above all. Trust in Him and He will soon lead you to your perfect match, at His appointed time. Don’t lose hope.